Debbie Phelps, Michael Phelps’ mother, has a book deal.  ‘A Mother for All Seasons’ will document the triumphs and hardships of living through her son’s Olympic success and the fallout afterward due to a DUI arrest and the infamous bong photo.  In case anyone was worried, Myriam Gomez’s ‘Raising SwaggerTooth’ will hit stores in the next few months.

Adam Dylan Leon gets an A for creativity.  This is truly one of the most outside the box ways of achieving his goal of committing suicide I could possibly imagine.

I’ve also done this. Mmmm, tasty.  But seriously, I’d probably get sued by PETA if that was the case.

Sarah Palin’s ex son-in-law to be, Levi Johnston, admits to having safe sex with her daughter Bristol ‘most of the time.’ Moreover, thank the Lord for hard-hitting serious journalists like Tyra Banks.  (sidenote: notice the reaction of the girl on his left when he begins to claim that safe sex was always practiced)

Really? Really? What to say about this?  Well for starters, the ‘taint’ on Steven’s political career is probably all the underhanded actions he took while in office (heh heh, taint).  Second, this all seems like a big ol’ Sullivan led conspiracy between Judge and defense attorney.

In lighter news, Kal Penn of Harold and Kumar fame has left the TV series House, M.D. to join the Obama administration. A couple of things here.  Really? Yup, ok then.  Second, I wonder if he’s gonna need a look-a-like to throw off any potential threats to his life, Zeb?

Who wants to call Flo Rida?

If at first you don’t succeed…make if even more ridiculous. The Segway revolution continues its devastating march to complete and total obscurity.  C’mon guys, can we focus on making vehicles people will actually be able to and want to buy?  You seem like intelligent fellows.

Now, I’ve already talked about my lack of technological prowess; however, it may not have occurred to you that this also extends to being able to handle moderately powerful to very powerful motor vehicles.  On this past New Years Eve, I almost ended my life along with my cousin’s (David Gomez) when I ran off the road and in between trees while driving his speedy little Honda S-2000 (mind you, this was long before any alcohol was involved that day, in fact, it led to me not drinking that night at all).  Now, that’s just an S-2000, not a Ferrari or Lambo (which is blue) or any other sort of super-powered vehicular beast.  With that said, I feel this woman’s pain (so does Eddie Griffin), and I’m glad she’s alright.

Disorderly conduct and assault rampant towards the end of a ‘Stop the violence’ concert in Silver Spring, Maryland on Saturday. Knowing that crowd, I bet someone stepped on another person’s suade shoes, Woo Hah! It’s either that or it must’ve been some instigator living in the D.C. area, Zeb?

Sham-OW!!! A little late, but entertaining nonetheless.

And finally today, Here’s something to keep you in bed in order to hide that embarrassing morning erection. It looks like the new place to be is New Zealand.  Women there are forgoing all pleasantries and getting right down to business (God, I hope they’re using protection).  We’re still wondering why Bret and Jemaine left.

Remember kids, Jesus loves the little children.

-Dem David Dem

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