3 minutes later, we see you.  “See Sam, I told you.  There he is.  Nothing to worry about.”  I could not have been more wrong.  What I somehow failed to realize was that you were actually handcuffed and that you had a 2-person police escort.  You were there to inform me that you had been arrested for possession of *******, they were taking you to jail to be booked, and you would be spending the night in jail.  After a brief and awkward conversation with the officers about how we could get you out the next morning, they took you away.  Sam and I were in a daze.  I was officially out of the musicial “zone” and we decided to head back to our campsite to collect our thoughts about what the hell just happened and to strategize a plan to get you out the next morning.  Naturally, we decided to “worry about it in the morning.”

The next morning, I must admit, is a blur.  After telling the story to Kegger (I don’t know where the hell he was the previous night) about how you were arrested, we did a lot of sitting and eating–not a lot of strategic planning.  Yeah, we kinda knew what we needed to do, but not really.  Finally, I called the jail:  “Ah yes, is Terry Logue there please?  Yes?  Can I talk to him?  No?  Hmm.  Well, what’s he up to?  Oh, he’s eating breakfast.  Aight, well let him know I called and that we’re getting the ball rolling for busting him out of there.  Thanks!”  What did I accomplish in that phone call?  Absolutely nothing.  We then decided the best way to bust you out was to just go to the jail.  Don’t know why we didn’t think of this earlier–It wasn’t like we were going to get anything accomplished from our campsite.  Once we got to the jail, it was a slow process to get you out, but we got it done.  You were free…from jail.

After a couple months of you declaring your life “over”, trying to hide this most arrest from your parents, and meetings with the best lawyer in town (shout out to Bill Davis!), you learned your fate:  Your case would be transferred to Leon County, and you would enter a “program” that basically would require you to be COMPLETELY sober for at least 1 year.  This was significant because honestly, I’m not sure if you had been COMPLETELYsober for more than 48 hours since your 18th birthday.  The good news was that once this program was completed, all charges would be dropped.  You started the program exactly 1 year ago today.

I can sit here and honestly say that there was never any doubt in my mind that you would be able to stay COMPLETELY sober for the entire year.  I know it was tough, and we were not always easy to hang out with while we drank (amongst other things) ourselves stupid, but you were always a good sport about it.  I’m proud of you, and I wish you the best of luck as we move forward into the next phase of our lives.  FREE BOBBLE!

While at the 4th Quarter tonight, El Meester and I were discussing going to a shooting range to practice our murkin’ skills, you know, for the impending Armageddon/Everyone-for-themselves all-out-war that’s soon to be upon us. I came home to check out the latest on Slate.com magazine and found this frightfully timely Explainer article.

Q: Why do rappers hold their guns sideways?

A: Because it looks so Hollywood.

© Copyright 2009. SwaggerTooth Productions.

I really have very little reason to put this picture up on SwaggerTooth, I just really like it. I feel like David is in there somewhere; I haven’t figured out which powerful politician he is yet.

Here is ma boi Christopher Hitchens with his two cents on the Henry Louis Gates incident. I like his phrase “constitutional castle”. (I’ve yet to pick up his book God is Not Great. Sounds like a page-turner.)

Finally my real reason for this post. I hope it’s not too late to get everyone’s opinion on this. You have until 9:00 PM Tuesday July 28th to vote. Trivia starts at 8:00, and I’m guessing the showdown will take place during Professor Jim’s grading break.  Now I’m not trying to influence the voting, but the win-loss record is clearly stated after the combatants’ names.  Exercise your right to democracy wisely. I know who I’m voting for.

Clearly, the BrainTrust wants to see one of our own win this rematch, but to be honest David, we are quite worried.  Tracy informed everyone at Gomez vs. Graham that her victory was no fluke, and that she would be preparing for the rematch by getting back into a formal upper-body training routine.  She also actually wanted the rematch to take place 4 weeks from the initial tilt while David pushed for 8 weeks.  In other words, there’s no doubt Tracy is taking this very seriously, as evidenced by this late-night/early-morning text sent to El Meester:

“Tell David I have challenged several people to arm wrestling in Savannah [Georgia] and won… His shit’s weak”

David’s paraphrased verbal response:  Wow, so she’s serious about this huh?

Yes she is, Big Frank, and she told everyone that from the beginning.  However, it seems as if the recent trash talk coming from Graham’s camp may have woken the sleeping giant.  Rumors are flying around the internet about the possibility of a upcoming face tattoo…

Let's Get It On

In related news, Triple D transferred those long range skills to the 4th Quarter Saint Patrick’s Day Beer Pong Tournament. Team Swaggertooth (Thrice B. Downs and NameDavid) rode the number 1 seed all the way to the finals. Both teammates contributed mightily to the opening round and semis. However, Terry seemed to get cold after the extended wait for the final matchup. Name was there in the clutch, hitting 5 of 6 cups. The competition was no slouch, and after some sketchy business on the last shot, the game went to overtime. Name was on point again, hitting the first two of the three-cup OT. Thrice B was finally able to break his slump and sank the last cup for the CHAMPIONSHIP MOTHERF$&@ERS!!!! THAT’S RIGHT!!!

Dem David Dem

For that reason alone, there will be a category on SwaggerTooth called, of course, “Trios & Orchestras” that will focus on our musical endevours and things of that nature.

To start it off, Thrice B and I will be attending an Umphrey’s McGee concert in Jacksonville at the Freebird Live tonight.  We will return to Tallahassee on Saturday to have the official “SwaggerTooth Launch Party”  which will probably be at the 4th Quarter Bar & Grill.  More on that later…