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The boy surprised the court  when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Florida State Seminoles Football Team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

• Boise State and Cincinnati are both ranked in the top 10. We’re talking about the Mountain West and the Big East here. ACC, step your game up. Big 10, you too.

• USF is 5-0. I don’t really feel like they’ve played any quality opponents yet (yes, that includes FSU) hence their modest #21 ranking so we’ll see how they handle #8 Cincinnati this Thursday and Miami after Thanksgiving. PS. FSU/UF is simply NOT worth watching anymore so spare yourselves and hope Miami @ USF is more exciting even though I hate them both. Also, this Big Four crap is retarded.

• Miami is 4-1. This is an incredible start for their ridiculous opening schedule (excluding FAMU — sorry Rattlers), which many predicted for them to start 0-4.

• Florida is 5-0. The Gators are showing ZERO signs of even coming close to losing a game this season except for maybe in the SEC title game against Alabama. They haven’t even trailed by a single point in the 3 legitimate games they’ve played so far on their schedule.

• And Florida State is 2-4. Really? It’s come to this now? And that 2-4 could have easily been 1-5 if the Noles hadn’t pulled off a last minute win in the 4th quarter against Jacksonville State at home.  The only game where the Noles looked semi-good this year was on Versus against the Fighting Mormons.

At least the Marching Chiefs are still representing with pride:

I thought I’d never see the day where we would depend more on our offense to win us games rather than our defense. I am conceding all hopes for anything this season. Getting 6 wins for a bid to the Turd Bowl would be a victory at this point assuming the NCAA even allows us since one of our wins is against 1AA Jacksonville State who almost beat us at home anyway. I just hope this upcoming off-season is completely bondernuts for the Noles. And yes, I realize that I’m once again looking forward to next year already when we’re only halfway through the current season.

Additional Linkage:

The Bizarro Jerry

Kramer – TCB (Taking care of business)

Kramer – Fired (doesn’t even work there)

Dave Chappelle – He Made Thriller

Michael Jackson – Thriller (original)

More FSU Marching Chief Videos from SwaggerToothVideo

On a more serious note, this is the kind of thing I’ve been talking about, SwaggerToothers.  Now you won’t be able to smoke OUTSIDE. It’s a slippery slope.  Ugh, I’ll let you intelligent people out there decide for yourselves.

Here’s a related article about the Mommy Mayor up in NYC.  I love the John Stuart Mill quote, “The only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not a sufficient warrant.”  Good stuff.

Go ‘Noles!

In honor of FSU graduate and Navy pilot Scott Speicher, who was shot down over Iraq in the 1991 Persian Gulf War, members of Navy Strike Fighter Squadron 81 performed a “missing man” formation during the Labor Day pregame ceremony.

According to Morris, four F/A-18 Hornets approached Doak Campbell Stadium just as the Marching Chiefs concluded their pregame show with the playing of the national anthem. Then just as the jets flew over the crowd, one of them left the formation and soared up toward the sky.

Lucky for SwaggerTooth Nation that SwaggerToothVideo was on set and cha boy Dots McGots captured a pretty baller ass video (if I don’t say so myself) of this event. Promotional considerations provided by El Meester’s Canon PowerShot SD780 camera with the HD movie shoot capability (what what):

Seeing such a display at a football game is even more rare. Morris said the university had to seek special approval from the Pentagon before even contacting Speicher’s fighter squadron to see if they would perform the mission.

“It’s reserved for funerals and events of that nature — not football stadium flyovers,” Morris said. “But I think the special relationship between the family and Scott Speicher and the university I think is what allowed the Department of the Navy to approve this.”

FSU originally was scheduled to have a different flyover for the Miami game. But when Speicher’s remains were found in Iraq earlier this summer, university officials began the process of requesting the special event.

Here in the great state of Florida we are preparing for the annual grudge match between Florida State University and the University of Miami (FL) (sorry Wally, besides big Ben, who’s talking about Redhawks football).  Fans on both sides of the ball have been waiting for a return to glory, and are hoping that a win at Doak Campbell Stadium on Labor Day can propel their squad Back to the Future.

As one might expect, Tallahassee is to be abuzz and crawling with those folks from down south that will be coming to support their team.  This goes for those Hurricanes fans as well as those FSU fans and alums that currently reside in the southern, and more populous, portion of the state.  The latter group of people will include, among others, our good friend Luke and Braintrust member himself, Sean “Dots McGots” Sordo.  As this triggers another swaggerish reunion, we will be partaking in activities like a trip to the coast on Sunday along with some man sodas and tailgating for the game on Monday.

On the other side of the spectrum, defending National Champions, The University of Florida Gators, will try to cover a 60+ point spread this Saturday as they host the Buccaneers of Charleston Southern University.   5 year theory?

Toney Douglas outshined reigning national player of the year Tyler Hansbrough, scoring 27 points including the go-ahead free throws, as the No. 22 Seminoles ended top-ranked North Carolina’s quest for a third straight Atlantic Coast Conference championship with a 73-70 upset in the ACC tournament semifinals.

ESPN recap – Palm Beach Post recap

As the lone senior remaining on the floor, Brian Hoff had two hands firmly wrapped around the basketball as the final seven seconds ticked off the clock Sunday at the Donald L. Tucker Center.

You didn’t need to look at the scoreboard to know the outcome of Florida State’s Senior Day finale against Virginia Tech. Hoff’s huge smile told it all.

On a day when FSU fans bid goodbye to seniors Toney Douglas, Uche Echefu and Hoff, a 63-53 victory over the Hokies gave them every reason to say, ‘Hello, NCAA Tournament!’

In his first career start, Hoff scored the Seminoles' first six points by draining a pair of 3-pointers.

“Me, Uche and Toney, we’ve been through so much here,” Hoff said. “We’ve been on the bubble. We knew we weren’t getting in last year, pretty much. The year before we got here, we weren’t very good. …

“My dream was always to play in the NCAA Tournament. To finally be able to realize that, it’s so fulfilling.”

The Seminoles (23-8, 10-6) will enter this season’s Atlantic Coast Conference Tournament as the No. 4 seed, not needing a miracle run to an end an agonizingly long drought since its last NCAA appearance in 1998. No ACC team with 10 league wins has been denied an NCAA berth since the field was expanded to include at-large berths.

Hoff, who spent three seasons as a walk-on before earning a scholarship this season, won’t soon forget his first career start. He scored the Seminoles’ first six points by draining a pair of 3-pointers, and even shared the team scoring lead at the half.

“I didn’t know if I was going to get a shot or anything, but my mindset was to make something happen,” said Hoff, who passed on several small-school scholarship offers to walk-on with the ‘Noles after helping Jacksonville Arlington Country Day win a state title in 2005.

“It’s made it all worthwhile, to come here and help turn this program around,” he said of his decision. “I’m grateful that I could contribute to it.”

It’s your boy S Dot in the house and today I’m blogging to you live from….work. Ok, so Boca Raton, FL is a little less exciting than the Georgia Dome in Atlanta, GA today–where I’d ideally like to be. If only my knucklehead associate from ps3hotness.com and bumforums.com would have thought about going to this years ACC Tournament (to see the Noles win it all) with a little bit more advance notice than last night–then I might have been blogging to you live from the game. Instead, I am officially conceding all productivity for the rest of the day and streaming this bad boy on beautiful ESPN360.com and you should be too if you’re fortunate enough to have access to that service, depending on your ISP (hopefully not Comcast). Just in case anyone was wondering though… Billy Mays is right, live sports at work really is much better than work at work! “Now my job is way less soul crushing!”

League Name: SwaggerTooth
Group ID #: 54432
Password: eldoctrine

After you begin to settle down from all this excitement for one afternoon, probably running around your home or office in a frenzy punching your friends and co-workers in the face—here is the information you will need to join us in filling out a bracket next week for the beginning of March Madness. Selection Sunday is, you guessed it, this Sunday for any of you “special Ed’s” out there. Ladies and gentlemen, in case any of you have been living under a rock for the past month or have maybe been hit in the head with a rock and forgot due to memory loss and/or brain damage—the play-in game is on Tuesday March 17th at 7:30 and then the real-deal-holyfield action begins on Thursday March 19th from Philadelphia, Greensboro, Kansas City, and Portland. Hopefully dem Seminoles will be playing the first round in Miami on Saturday March 20th so the fans can travel during this challenging economy. The Hurricanes of course have no chance at being invited to this dance because they thought it would be prudent to go down double digits early in the game against Virigina Tech yesterday and ultimately lost 65-47. The immediate future for the Canes doesn’t look too bright either if you consider their upcoming football schedule for 2009, there are some that believe they will start the season 0-4…write that down?