• LeBron James’ performance in the Eastern Conference Finals was pretty awesome, including “The Shot” that ended game 2 which none of us will ever forget.  Or will we?  All I can think of now is how he stormed off the court after losing the series without showing any respect to any of the Magic players or staff–including Olympic teammate Dwight Howard.  AND how he left his teammates to face the media by themselves.  Aight fine.  LeBron is mad about not winning, I get that.  What I don’t get is his next day reaction of “no, I’m not a bad sport.  No, I don’t shake hands after an ass beating.  Yes, you are a punk if you do shake hands with the winner.  Yeah, I talked to Dwight–I emailed him.”  I shake my head at you LeBron…

• Congrats to the baseball teams of FSU and UF for making it to the NCAA Super Regionals.  UF put a beat down on Miami 16-5 to advance and FSU squeaked by Ohio State 37-6 for the win.  Okay, Ohio State.  Really?  You’re a D1 playoff team and you just got hung for 37 runs in one game.  I’m writing a letter to your president suggesting that the baseball team be completely disbanded and replaced by…hell, anyone.  PS:  Jimbo Fisher should take offensive notes from Mike Martin.

• Congrats to Gator softball on their dramatic win over Alabama in the WCWS.  Pretty clutch hit (grand slam) by Ali Gardiner with the Lady Gators down to their last out and the bases loaded.  Stacey Nelson didn’t look like her dominant self, either (but she did look cute).  I’m glad she got that out of her system (stay cute though).  Good luck against Washington in the best of 3 final series which starts tonight at 8PM on ESPN.  PS: All of 3 teams have beaten the Lady Gators this year–Baylor, Alabama, and you guessed it: Washington…

• Rafael Nadal goes down in the French Open for the first time ever!  Robin Soderling of Sweden played the role of Giant Killer.  It’s a big deal because nobody other than Roger Federer has given Nadal any trouble at Roland Garros (if you consider winning 12 of 15 sets “trouble”).  It’s not a big deal because Nadal is still the best tennis player in the world.  Moving on…

• Back to the NBA finals.  The “Disney Series” should be a good one.  The Lakers match up against the Magic much better than the Cavs did, but the Lakers also have not consistently shown us that killer instinct throughout the playoffs.  One game up, one game down, and so on.  And on the other hand, Orlando has consistently shown us over the past few weeks that they are for real by beating the defending champs (*minus KG) and the best team in the NBA record-wise.  Key individual matchups:  Kobe “O” vs. Pietrus “D”, Kobe/Ariza “D” vs. Turkoglu/Lewis “O”, and Dwight vs. Gasol/Bynum. Finals start on Thursday.  Official SwaggerTooth poll coming sometime before that.  Put your thinking caps on now.

Continuing with unfortunate events dealing in the gastrointestinal realm, this must’ve been some problem.  I wonder if he tried to hit him with the ol’ dutch oven.

Congratulations Freddy!  You just got into the school of your dreams.  What’s your plan now?  Because, I’d probably wait an hour or two and check my e-mail, just to be on the safe side.

A little local flavor in the tradition unlike any other.  Oh and for all you Gator fans with a Colombian background, Camilo Villegas is currently 2 strokes over par; dude better tighten up.

Shouts out to a friend of SwaggerTooth’s and Most Oustanding Student Athlete, Mr. Brian Hoff.

Gov. Jennifer Granholm thinks she’s hot and that Gov. Palin is bringing her down her steez.  Let me save you the Google search:  Palin is way more attractive.

Current Florida Gator basketball coach Billy Donovan to Kentucky?  No link for that, but it’s all over the message boards that current Kentucky ball coach Billy Gillespie is as good as done.  Blah.  If you do go, please do it quick.  Anthony Grant will not be available forever.

Bernie Madoff’s pain is a Queens man’s gain as Ponzi schemer’s jail number is a Lotto winner. A construction worker from Queens won $1500 by playing Madoff’s prison cell number (61727-054) in the state lottery.  Madoff is so filthy rich that even his prison ID is worth some major duckets.  Props to this Queensman for getting the jump on that.  Since tonight is the Florida Lotto drawing I think I might have to incorporate those numbers into a my winning ticket as well…. wish me luck! SwaggerTooth Millionaires coming atcha!

Because S Dot really really really wanted you guys to know this, the new Cincinnati Bengals #85 jersey is ready. [Please excuse the hate-itude here]

Chonga News:

“What is a chonga” you ask? Check this very in-depth definition from the wondeful people at Urban Dictionary. It’s fantastic.

Living in the south Florida area you tend to run into/see/hear/smell stuff like this a lot more frequently than the good ole days in Tallahassee, yahsmellme? For example, just the other day I was checking out some of the FM stations when I entered the parking garage and lost my Sirius signal–interrupting my usual Howard Stern regiment. I stumbled across Miami Dade’s very own popular Power96 and caught a piece of DJ LAZ’s morning show but before turning it off I was (un)forunate enough to catch some of KC Chopz hot new track “I Love Chongas” — please leave your comments. By the way, this kid is definitely white and lives in Weston — NOT Hialeah!

…and for no good reason at all:

I’m on a boat — Well, apparently the homies from SwaggerTooth have been holding out on me with this one. For anyone else out there that hasn’t seen the latest Lonely Island single with T-Pain yet, chere it is.

Pittsburgh council unanimously bans porch couches — Good thing this was never a threat to Tallahassee from 2002 through 2007. Our beloved couch house was a top spot for on-campus bojangling. [Edit: Thanks Matty Z for supplying ye ole Couch House pic -- even though you can't even see the COUCH in front!]

The Gators rejected another UM pitch for more frequent football games — This just in: Jeremy Foley is soft. I don’t care if he is the “the highest paid, most respected AD in the country.” ONION UP BIG BOY! [Editor's Note: Yeah, this coming from a FSU fan.  Shall I get started on TK?]

No NCAA Football ’10 for Nintendo Wii — Sorry Terry.

Domination dance (definition) — I love the Urban Dictionary!

Weird News:

Student suspended for passing gas on bus — Polk County school officials said there’s no rule against flatulence, but there are rules against causing a disturbance on the bus.

Boy banned from wearing Obama mask in skit — The rubber likeness of the 44th president was “inappropriate and potentially offensive.”

Jimmy Things:

U.S. move to cheaper Chinese condoms threatens American jobs — Sounds like a “condom conundrum” indeed!

Pope claims condoms could make African Aids crisis worse — Pontiff’s remarks on first visit to continent outrage health agencies trying to halt spread of HIV and Aids.

Sad News:

Family wants tougher laws on ‘sexting’ — Jessica Logan’s nude cell-phone photo – meant for her boyfriend’s eyes only – was sent to hundreds of teenagers last year in at least seven Greater Cincinnati high schools.

This is very tragic, but I hate this new term “sexting” and I hope parents start to take more responsibility raising their children. In his new book, “Now or Never,” Jack Cafferty says parenting might be on the decline more than schools are:

Parents, your kids aren’t that special — Jack can’t recall a generation “ever so indulged and enabled to behave so badly” — he’s probably right too, unfortunately.

My take:  Whatever.  This is probably exactly what the team needs to gently nudge Ole Bobby out the door.  Yeah, it sucks that the wins will vanish as if they never happened, but let’s be real.  As much as the fanbase values conference and national championships here, those 14 or so wins from 2006/7 didn’t matter anyway.  It’s not like anybody has to pull down any banners, return Heismans, or rewrite the record books.

FSU football will be better because of this. Write that down.

UF Basketball: Look who forgot they aren’t a legit NCAA tourney team!  Aight aight, good win today Gators, but really all this does is set us up for a 1st weekend early knockout much like ALL those teams from 2001-2005.  By the way, Dan Werner still sucks.  How do you get so many minutes?  I know you’re not earning them…

T.O. to…the Bills?:  Yep, okthen.  I feel like this can go only 2 ways:

1. Owens balls out of control as the only legitimate weapon on the team, has a great year and leaves for a contender in 2010.  Or
2. He realizes Trent Edwards sucks and tells us all about it through the media.

Official SwaggerTooth.com Launch Party:  Much like the reasoning behind swaggertooth.com, nobody really knows what’s going on with this.  The reason I waste your time in stating that is because yesterday I said I would give you an update.  There it is.  S Dot, meet us at the 4th.