SwaggerTooth » Jay-Z

From the BrainTrust to SwaggerTooth Nation: We Apologize

El Meester — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 12:00:59 +0000

Fresh off of our record breaking August, the month of September so far has been, quite frankly, terrible for SwaggerTooth.com. We are genuinely sorry for that. However, as usual, we have a set of good excuses: Dem David Dem has been thriving in his new role at the FSU Computer Store as its new “Computer Check-In Guru/Quasi-Register Salesman/Rover Extraordinaire” thus leaving him with very little time to put his Doctrine out there for ALL to see. (Believe me, there has been some quality “Doctrine” that the BrainTrust has been lucky enough to be exposed to recently.) El Meester has also been busy at the FSUCS, continuing to thrive in his state-paid role by yelling at Dem David Dem for bothering him with important work-related questions throughout the day, checking various online fantasy sports leagues, chatting on iChat, sexting, ghostwriting, going to lunch, and basically doing anything but working on SwaggerTooth. Thrice B. Downs has recently been fully focused on his transition from Tallahassee’s own Village Pizza & Pasta to another local establishment, Ray’s Steel City Saloon & Restaurant, where you guys can find Chimmy Dimmy back in his best role, in my opinion, as bartender. S Dot aka Dots McGots had a huge, MVP-caliber August on SwaggerTooth. And we all know what comes after an underpaid and under-appreciated employee feels like he/she has leverage…HOLD OUT. Dots, as long as you don’t start sabotaging SwaggerTooth.com, we promise to do better.

SPORTS

Football is officially back on the collegiate and professional level. The biggest headlines in college have been:

Sam Bradford’s season-threatening injury in Oklahoma’s season opening loss to BYU
True freshman QB Matt Barkley leading USC to victory over Ohio State in the “Horseshoe”
Michigan vs. Notre Dame in a match-up of two “hot seat” coaches in “must win” situations

Biggest NFL Week 1 headlines:

Eagles QB McNabb breaks a rib in victory over Panthers. Vick STARTING a lot sooner than we expected? Side note, Panthers QB Delhomme throws 4 (four!) INTs and tosses in 1 lost fumble.
FARVIN! Vikings win comfortably over Browns as Adrian Peterson runs for 180 yards/3 TD and Percy Harvin scores his first professional TD.
Denver wins in Cincinnati on a miracle tipped pass for a TD, courtesy of Brandon Stokely, in what was overall a horrible game. According to NFL: It was the longest game-winning play from scrimmage in the final minute of the fourth quarter in NFL history.

TRIOS & ORCHESTRAS

Two albums that El Meester has been recently listening to are Phish’s 14th studio offering Joy and Jay-Z’s latest effort The Blueprint 3. Joy is produced by well-respected and accomplished producer Steve Lillywhite, who has produced some of El Meester’s absolute all-time favorite albums such as Dave Matthews Band’s Before These Crowded Streets, Talking Heads’ Naked, and Phish’s Billy Breathes. The Blueprint 3, as one would expect, features production work from hip-hop’s finest such as Kanye West, No I.D., Timbaland, Swizz Beatz, and The Neptunes. Both are solid albums that will continue to receive many listens and are SwaggerTooth-recommended. El Meester’s favorite Joy tracks: “Backwards Down the Number Line”, “Sugar Shack”, “Ocelot”, “Kill Devil Falls”, and “Time Turns Elastic”. Favorite Blueprint 3 tracks: “Empire State of Mind”, “Off That”, “Venus vs. Mars”, and “Reminder”.

Be sure to use your blinker.

Dem David Dem — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 19:42:41 +0000

I know most of you in ToothieLand are constantly looking for ways to increase your street cred and thug appeal. Might I suggest getting on the highway and doing some lane switching. Jay-Z and Jermaine Dupri proved to us that spending lots of cash it is best done so while driving at high speeds and using as much of the road as possible.

(couldn’t embed the music video, but you can view it on youtube if you like)

If you are not inclined to do your swerving at high speeds while risking your life and that of others, you can take a tip from Land Lord and do your lane switching out on the dance floor.

And for one more example of how gangsta switching lanes really is, we turn to some of Houston’s finest.

In related news, Samoa is planning on being the first nation since Ghana in 1974 to have their drivers switch from driving on one side of the road to the other. This has caused a rash of road rage throughout the country which only means one thing, stay clear of Samoa until the dust settles. Do you want this guy coming at you with the golf club he keeps in his backseat?

FP, KoP, GWB, UK, etc.

Thrice B. Downs — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 20:21:50 +0000

I never thought I’d see Jay-Z on foreignpolicy.com, but here he is. Although I’m no rap aficionado, I found the article quite interesting (plus, it included some of my favorite words, like hegemony, hegemon, and hegemonic…oh yeah, and “beefs”). Perhaps some of the Jay-Z fans out there in SwaggerTooth-land can enlighten both the SwaggerTooth nation and me as to whether this article holds any water. I need to be educated as to the truthiness of 50 Cent’s spitting frenzy and the “sneak attack” against Nas.
Also check out the five leaders who miss G-Dub, ten lessons America can learn from the British Empire, and, my personal favorite, the Failed States Index 2009.
Oh one more thing, who’s the next King (or Queen) of Pop?