This article about cha boi, Bron Bron, is quite telling. Shake a man’s hand, get dunked on, who cares.

Here’s a rather disconcerting article from ma boi, Farhad Manjoo (I like his name). The key phrase in the article is “perfectly enforceable” prohibitions. These don’t sound cool to me.

Oh yeah, and one more thing, regarding the po-po part of this post: If ya gots something in ya pocket that ya ain’t supposed to have, and the men in blue come up to you, LEAVE IT IN YOUR POCKET. That is all.

• LeBron James’ performance in the Eastern Conference Finals was pretty awesome, including “The Shot” that ended game 2 which none of us will ever forget.  Or will we?  All I can think of now is how he stormed off the court after losing the series without showing any respect to any of the Magic players or staff–including Olympic teammate Dwight Howard.  AND how he left his teammates to face the media by themselves.  Aight fine.  LeBron is mad about not winning, I get that.  What I don’t get is his next day reaction of “no, I’m not a bad sport.  No, I don’t shake hands after an ass beating.  Yes, you are a punk if you do shake hands with the winner.  Yeah, I talked to Dwight–I emailed him.”  I shake my head at you LeBron…

• Congrats to the baseball teams of FSU and UF for making it to the NCAA Super Regionals.  UF put a beat down on Miami 16-5 to advance and FSU squeaked by Ohio State 37-6 for the win.  Okay, Ohio State.  Really?  You’re a D1 playoff team and you just got hung for 37 runs in one game.  I’m writing a letter to your president suggesting that the baseball team be completely disbanded and replaced by…hell, anyone.  PS:  Jimbo Fisher should take offensive notes from Mike Martin.

• Congrats to Gator softball on their dramatic win over Alabama in the WCWS.  Pretty clutch hit (grand slam) by Ali Gardiner with the Lady Gators down to their last out and the bases loaded.  Stacey Nelson didn’t look like her dominant self, either (but she did look cute).  I’m glad she got that out of her system (stay cute though).  Good luck against Washington in the best of 3 final series which starts tonight at 8PM on ESPN.  PS: All of 3 teams have beaten the Lady Gators this year–Baylor, Alabama, and you guessed it: Washington…

• Rafael Nadal goes down in the French Open for the first time ever!  Robin Soderling of Sweden played the role of Giant Killer.  It’s a big deal because nobody other than Roger Federer has given Nadal any trouble at Roland Garros (if you consider winning 12 of 15 sets “trouble”).  It’s not a big deal because Nadal is still the best tennis player in the world.  Moving on…

• Back to the NBA finals.  The “Disney Series” should be a good one.  The Lakers match up against the Magic much better than the Cavs did, but the Lakers also have not consistently shown us that killer instinct throughout the playoffs.  One game up, one game down, and so on.  And on the other hand, Orlando has consistently shown us over the past few weeks that they are for real by beating the defending champs (*minus KG) and the best team in the NBA record-wise.  Key individual matchups:  Kobe “O” vs. Pietrus “D”, Kobe/Ariza “D” vs. Turkoglu/Lewis “O”, and Dwight vs. Gasol/Bynum. Finals start on Thursday.  Official SwaggerTooth poll coming sometime before that.  Put your thinking caps on now.

That being said, I think it will happen.  IF it is true that Kevin Garnett will miss the entire playoffs due to the bum knee (which I actually don’t think is true), then you can write Boston out in the 2nd round, losing to Orlando.  After that, the Fighting LeBrons should take out Orlando, with the embarrassment of the April 3rd beatdown serving as extra motivation.

In the West, it will be the Lakers.  Period.  The only team I will allow any chance is San Antonio, simply because of their every-other-year theory (right, David?).

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In other basketball news: It is being reported that new FIU head basketball coach Isaiah Thomas will be working fo’ free this year by way of “donating” his first year’s salary to the school’s athletic department.  HAHA.  So how do you go from having a “job” that pays you millions of dollars to literally do nothing to a job where you actually work, but don’t get paid? Welcome Isaiah Thompson:

John Madden officially announced his retirement from the broadcasting today.  All of us here at SwaggerTooth were huge fans of the legendary football icon, which actually put us in the minority for our age demographic.  A common complaint from many young folk was the inability to tolerate the Hall-of-Famer’s sometimes obvious and often blunt observations of the game.  The BrainTrust had no problem with any of that.  We love John Madden and watching/listening to football games will not be the same without him.  We wish him the best of luck in retirement.

-El Meester