The boy surprised the court  when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Florida State Seminoles Football Team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

• LeBron James’ performance in the Eastern Conference Finals was pretty awesome, including “The Shot” that ended game 2 which none of us will ever forget.  Or will we?  All I can think of now is how he stormed off the court after losing the series without showing any respect to any of the Magic players or staff–including Olympic teammate Dwight Howard.  AND how he left his teammates to face the media by themselves.  Aight fine.  LeBron is mad about not winning, I get that.  What I don’t get is his next day reaction of “no, I’m not a bad sport.  No, I don’t shake hands after an ass beating.  Yes, you are a punk if you do shake hands with the winner.  Yeah, I talked to Dwight–I emailed him.”  I shake my head at you LeBron…

• Congrats to the baseball teams of FSU and UF for making it to the NCAA Super Regionals.  UF put a beat down on Miami 16-5 to advance and FSU squeaked by Ohio State 37-6 for the win.  Okay, Ohio State.  Really?  You’re a D1 playoff team and you just got hung for 37 runs in one game.  I’m writing a letter to your president suggesting that the baseball team be completely disbanded and replaced by…hell, anyone.  PS:  Jimbo Fisher should take offensive notes from Mike Martin.

• Congrats to Gator softball on their dramatic win over Alabama in the WCWS.  Pretty clutch hit (grand slam) by Ali Gardiner with the Lady Gators down to their last out and the bases loaded.  Stacey Nelson didn’t look like her dominant self, either (but she did look cute).  I’m glad she got that out of her system (stay cute though).  Good luck against Washington in the best of 3 final series which starts tonight at 8PM on ESPN.  PS: All of 3 teams have beaten the Lady Gators this year–Baylor, Alabama, and you guessed it: Washington…

• Rafael Nadal goes down in the French Open for the first time ever!  Robin Soderling of Sweden played the role of Giant Killer.  It’s a big deal because nobody other than Roger Federer has given Nadal any trouble at Roland Garros (if you consider winning 12 of 15 sets “trouble”).  It’s not a big deal because Nadal is still the best tennis player in the world.  Moving on…

• Back to the NBA finals.  The “Disney Series” should be a good one.  The Lakers match up against the Magic much better than the Cavs did, but the Lakers also have not consistently shown us that killer instinct throughout the playoffs.  One game up, one game down, and so on.  And on the other hand, Orlando has consistently shown us over the past few weeks that they are for real by beating the defending champs (*minus KG) and the best team in the NBA record-wise.  Key individual matchups:  Kobe “O” vs. Pietrus “D”, Kobe/Ariza “D” vs. Turkoglu/Lewis “O”, and Dwight vs. Gasol/Bynum. Finals start on Thursday.  Official SwaggerTooth poll coming sometime before that.  Put your thinking caps on now.

As the lone senior remaining on the floor, Brian Hoff had two hands firmly wrapped around the basketball as the final seven seconds ticked off the clock Sunday at the Donald L. Tucker Center.

You didn’t need to look at the scoreboard to know the outcome of Florida State’s Senior Day finale against Virginia Tech. Hoff’s huge smile told it all.

On a day when FSU fans bid goodbye to seniors Toney Douglas, Uche Echefu and Hoff, a 63-53 victory over the Hokies gave them every reason to say, ‘Hello, NCAA Tournament!’

In his first career start, Hoff scored the Seminoles' first six points by draining a pair of 3-pointers.

“Me, Uche and Toney, we’ve been through so much here,” Hoff said. “We’ve been on the bubble. We knew we weren’t getting in last year, pretty much. The year before we got here, we weren’t very good. …

“My dream was always to play in the NCAA Tournament. To finally be able to realize that, it’s so fulfilling.”

The Seminoles (23-8, 10-6) will enter this season’s Atlantic Coast Conference Tournament as the No. 4 seed, not needing a miracle run to an end an agonizingly long drought since its last NCAA appearance in 1998. No ACC team with 10 league wins has been denied an NCAA berth since the field was expanded to include at-large berths.

Hoff, who spent three seasons as a walk-on before earning a scholarship this season, won’t soon forget his first career start. He scored the Seminoles’ first six points by draining a pair of 3-pointers, and even shared the team scoring lead at the half.

“I didn’t know if I was going to get a shot or anything, but my mindset was to make something happen,” said Hoff, who passed on several small-school scholarship offers to walk-on with the ‘Noles after helping Jacksonville Arlington Country Day win a state title in 2005.

“It’s made it all worthwhile, to come here and help turn this program around,” he said of his decision. “I’m grateful that I could contribute to it.”

It’s your boy S Dot in the house and today I’m blogging to you live from….work. Ok, so Boca Raton, FL is a little less exciting than the Georgia Dome in Atlanta, GA today–where I’d ideally like to be. If only my knucklehead associate from ps3hotness.com and bumforums.com would have thought about going to this years ACC Tournament (to see the Noles win it all) with a little bit more advance notice than last night–then I might have been blogging to you live from the game. Instead, I am officially conceding all productivity for the rest of the day and streaming this bad boy on beautiful ESPN360.com and you should be too if you’re fortunate enough to have access to that service, depending on your ISP (hopefully not Comcast). Just in case anyone was wondering though… Billy Mays is right, live sports at work really is much better than work at work! “Now my job is way less soul crushing!”

League Name: SwaggerTooth
Group ID #: 54432
Password: eldoctrine

After you begin to settle down from all this excitement for one afternoon, probably running around your home or office in a frenzy punching your friends and co-workers in the face—here is the information you will need to join us in filling out a bracket next week for the beginning of March Madness. Selection Sunday is, you guessed it, this Sunday for any of you “special Ed’s” out there. Ladies and gentlemen, in case any of you have been living under a rock for the past month or have maybe been hit in the head with a rock and forgot due to memory loss and/or brain damage—the play-in game is on Tuesday March 17th at 7:30 and then the real-deal-holyfield action begins on Thursday March 19th from Philadelphia, Greensboro, Kansas City, and Portland. Hopefully dem Seminoles will be playing the first round in Miami on Saturday March 20th so the fans can travel during this challenging economy. The Hurricanes of course have no chance at being invited to this dance because they thought it would be prudent to go down double digits early in the game against Virigina Tech yesterday and ultimately lost 65-47. The immediate future for the Canes doesn’t look too bright either if you consider their upcoming football schedule for 2009, there are some that believe they will start the season 0-4…write that down?